


The 1983 Sauternes Bordeaux

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: OQ Angst Fest 2018 [5]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Couches, Established Relationship, F/M, Light Angst, Wine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 19:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15669324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: Robin's spilled red wine on Regina's white couch and is trying to clean it before she gets home.





	The 1983 Sauternes Bordeaux

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Babylawyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babylawyer/gifts).



> Date Written: 12 August 2018  
> Word Count: 879  
> Written for: OQ August Angst Week 2018  
> Prompts: 14, 15, 22 & [this tweet](https://twitter.com/BabyLawyerOQ/status/1020378865804378112)  
> Recipient: BabylawyerOQ  
> Summary: Robin's spilled red wine on Regina's white couch and is trying to clean it before she gets home.  
> Spoilers: Canon divergent AU nebulously set in S4. The whole Marilena SL never happened.  
> Warnings: No standard warnings apply.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: I had to do this one for my last fic. It amused the hell out of me. End of story. The bottle of wine comes from [this page](https://www.thewinecellarinsider.com/wine-topics/bordeaux-wine-buying-guide-tasting-notes-ratings/bordeaux-wine-detailed-vintage-summary-1945-today/1983-bordeaux-wine-vintage-report-buying-tips/).
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as usual…
> 
> Beta: Not currently beta'd. All errors are totes on me…

Robin glances up at the clock over the fireplace, wincing as it chimes the hour. Six o'clock. If he's lucky, her meeting's gone late and she just hasn't had the chance to text and let him know that yet. He doesn't even care that dinner might be ruined by her being late. They can order takeout if they need to. He continues to scrub, praying to any god listening for a bloody miracle before his girlfriend gets home.

"Robin?"

_Bollocks!_

"Robin, are you home?" she asks as she comes into the house. "Dinner smells fantastic, my love. Did you sweet talk Granny into doing a specialty meal again? What did you promise her this time?"

He can't speak, mouth dry as a desert as his heart begins to trip hammer in his chest. The sound of her expensive heels clicking on the floor comes closer to the den, and he wants nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

"Robin?" she asks, stepping into the den. He closes his eyes and waits for the realization. "What in the hell? Is that-- Why is there a _stain_ on my good sofa?"

"Evening, milady," he says softly, attempting a sweet, dimpled smile at her.

"No! Don't you _dare_ use that smile on me, Robin Hood. What in the hell happened here? Robin, I trusted you _._ Did-- Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

"It was truly an accident, Regina. I was bringing the wine in to have it ready with cheese and crackers for when you came home. I knew today was a stressful day for you, and I wanted to make a nice atmosphere for you to come home to."

"By spilling a glass of wine on my sofa?! Which wine is it?" When he doesn't answer right away, Regina's eyebrows furrow. "Robin, which bottle of wine did you open and spill on my sofa?" He mumbles an answer, feeling more like an errant child than when he _was_ a child. "I'm sorry, Henry, I didn't hear that. Please speak up."

"The 1983 Sauternes Bordeaux," he replies in a voice loud enough for her to hear. He's impressed at how calm he sounds, because he feels anything _but_ at the present moment.

"The ninet-- Oh my gods! Is there any left?"

"The bottle and the other glass are on the island in the kitchen. I brought it in one glass at a time." Even his explanation makes him sound as young as his own son. He can feel frustrated tears pricking in his eyes again, knowing just how badly he's upset her and made her shitty day even worse. It's the one thing he swore he'd never do, and he has. "I swear, Regina, I'll get the sofa reupholstered or replaced, whichever you prefer."

"Shall I dock your allowance to pay for it?" she asks tartly.

He doesn't answer, doesn't know how, but hazards a look up at her to see a flash of something in her eyes. Is that _amusement_? What the bloody hell? This whole situation confuses him. "I-- Regina, what's going on here?"

She stares at him for another moment, lips twitching, before finally bursting into delighted peals of laughter. "Oh, the look on your face just now!"

"Has this all been for sport?! Regina, I was worried sick about ruining your sofa!"

She moves closer, flicking her wrist to clean up the mess. He blinks as he sees the glass refilled and sitting on the coffee table, now joined by its mate and the bottle from the kitchen. She sits on the sofa, next to wear he's still kneeling, and taps the wineglass. "I think the boys accidentally got their novelty dribble glasses mixed up with the good stemware."

"You-- You knew, and you did it anyway? You let me go crazy thinking I'd ruined your furniture and upset you for a lark?" Now he's getting pissed off about this. "I--" She cuts him off with a gentle kiss as her hands move to cup his cheeks. "That's not going to solve this," he says when they pull back from the kiss. "I'm upset with you now. You _told_ me I could open any bottle of wine you had in the kitchen."

"I did. That's not my only bottle of the Bordeaux. And the boys will be appropriately punished for not taking better care of their toys. And you can punish me any way you wish for leading you on like that." She smiles and licks her lips. "I took tomorrow off, based on the hell that was today."

"You don't have to work tomorrow?" When Regina shakes her head, Robin's own ire starts to bleed off and he smirks. "Then once the boys are off to school, you are going to be punished."

"That's fair."

"I think we'll start with you over my knee for a proper spanking." He chuckles darkly when Regina squirm at the idea. "We can expand from there if need be. But for now, I think it's time for you to head upstairs and change out of these clothes while I get the rest of dinner in here. Come back down when you're ready. I've even got your favorite movie all queued up in the machine."


End file.
